i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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