I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
