Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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