For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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