Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
