I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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