As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
