butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
