Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
