I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
