your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
