It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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