Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize