:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I licked your asshole in confidence.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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