stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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