I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
