He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
