mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
