I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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