If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
