Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I came so hard my ears popped.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
