i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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