Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
