i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
