It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
