i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
