Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
