I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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