Me too!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
