I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
