Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize