get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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