I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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