You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
