And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
