Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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