But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize