how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize