I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
