you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
