she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
