So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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