paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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