so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's rum buckets o'clock
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
