Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
