He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
