he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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