My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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