the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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