I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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