my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This is the high leading the old right now
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
