Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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