why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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