3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
